My appointment to read to a class of fourth graders was this afternoon. So what does one read to fourth graders? Well if you're a journalist, you have to get all high and mighty about it and read something pertinent to your concerns that newspaper readership is declining. I wanted to show them that the stories they read in newspapers can be just as interesting as the ones they read in books. So I read two stories from Rick Bragg's collection of newspaper articles, a book called "Somebody Told Me." One was about an autistic boy in Florida who survived four days alone lost in a swamp, and the other was about a washer woman in Mississippi who saved all her life and gave $150,000, almost every cent she had, to Southern Miss for scholarships. This, of course, confused the hell out of them. They didn't quite understand that these "stories" were real.

I think I might have sounded a little desperate at the end by practically begging them to read a newspaper every day. I'd like to keep working, you know.

They asked questions after I was finished reading each story. I wasn't prepared for that to happen for some reason. The first question? "Can I have your autograph?" I ended up signing four autographs before I left. Goofy-ass kids. One little girl told me to sign it big. I objected. "I don't think my name should be big. It should be written small," I told her. "And my handwriting is really messy." Then I signed it as big as I could stand. "I think it looks pretty," she told me. Aw, kid. Quit being so impressed by me. I mean, honestly, you're almost as tall as I am, and you probably have better luck finding cute shoes.