Advil Liquigels work really, really well.
My recommendation for pain relief today comes courtesy of my run in with a very large labrador yesterday. A friend is out of town this weekend and asked if I'd feed and water her four dogs while she's away, and I said sure. I've watched them several times over the last couple of years, and she's done the same for us when we're out of town.
I've never had any problems until Saturday. The dogs are a pretty good bunch. They're kennel trained, and my friend has a feeding routine that keeps everyone in line. I also have to let them outside and bring them in a specific order: Ellie and Sierra go out first, then Lucy. Then I close the back door and let Denver, the big lab, out of his kennel. He's a climber so I have to hold onto him when he goes outside and hook him up to a chain so he'll stay in the yard.
I had hold of Denver's collar yesterday morning, but when I opened the back door, he took off. He pulled me completely off the porch, and I landed hard on one foot before falling flat on the ground. Then he dragged me along the ground about a foot. Once I stopped the slide, I somehow managed to get up and get him back on the porch and chained up. The whole thing probably took 20 seconds, but by the time it was over, I was sweating and panting. I then walked back in the house and assessed my wounds. A patch of skin on the bottom part of my left hand was gone. I had a scrape on left elbow. My right thigh was scratched, and a big knot was forming. I was covered in dirt on my right side. I washed off my hand and went in search of a bandaid for my hand. There was one in a box in the bathroom, and it wasn't a proper bandage at all, but I needed to cover it up because I still had to feed the dogs.
I pulled myself together and fed the dogs. Then I walked back inside the house and started bawling. I pulled myself together again and brought everyone back inside. Then I pretty much cried the entire drive back home.
SkooterPie was still asleep when I got home and was totally freaked out when his wife walked in the bedroom and immediately started bawling again. But once he figured out that there wasn't a dead body in the front yard, he helped bandage me up.
That night, he went with me to feed the dogs, and he walked Denver outside. He came with me this morning too.
Today, I feel a little bit like I've been in a car wreck. The sore bits that were really hurting yesterday are becoming more familiar to me, and there are new sore bits that I didn't even notice yesterday. Both ankles are sore. The entire right side of my body hurts: My shoulder muscles are sore, my stomach muscles are sore and my right leg muscles are tender. The scrape on my left hand is proving to be very annoying. It's about the size of quarter, and it's going to take weeks to heal. I look like I was hit by a baseball on my right thigh. It could have been much worse. I can't believe I didn't break an ankle or my right wrist.
It didn't take long before I was laughing about the incident. I must have looked pretty ludicrous being dragged along the ground by a dog like a rag doll. Why didn't I let go? Well, I had hold of him pretty good until I lost my balance after coming off the porch, and by the time I'd stopped him from dragging me, there was no WAY I was letting go of him. I'd held on that long, by God, and I was pretty determined not to let him get away from me. The last thing I needed was to try to chase a dog through an unfamiliar neighborhood in my emotional and physical state, which I can accurately describe as hysterical, bruised and battered.
A cat would never cause so much damage. Right, dad? (Heh, heh).