Weekend recap:
Jesse wanted to take a friend to Freedom Friday so he could have access to the VIP room (where free pizza and candy await the kids cool enough to be wearing the special VIP bracelets). So he invited Ashton. When I was checking them in, I discovered that the "Bring a Friend" night was during the last Freedom Friday, and this time the VIP room was open to kids who made the principal's list at school for the six weeks. Except that Campus gets their report cards every nine weeks, which seems a little unfair to me. So, I looked at Jesse and said "She said you can't go in the VIP room tonight," and he threw the most perfect heartbroken look that the woman relented and gave him a bracelet anyway. I was sort of counting on him giving her that look. I've seen it myself many times. So, all was right with the world again, and SkooterPie and I headed for Memphis Pizza Cafe to meet up with Ron and the lovely Bethany.

By the end of dinner, I was this [ ] close to turning a cartwheel on the deck of the restaurant because Ron DARED to question my assertion that I could still turn a cartwheel. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I had the wrong shoes on. But I WILL prove this to him someday soon, especially after he suggested that it's not even that hard to turn a cartwheel. But I tell this story to demonstrate that I had perhaps drunk my two beers a little too quickly during dinner. Before dinner, SkooterPie had complained that MPC didn't have desserts, so I asked him if he wanted to go to Bosco's for dessert after dinner. And we did, and I just had to have a glass of wine with my creme brulee. By the end of dessert, I was practically cackling over the sniffing noises we were both making as we sat outside shivering while eating our dessert. We had a few more minutes before we needed to pick up the boys, so we made a run to Schneesel's for some milk and a few other things.

As I rounded the corner of the dairy section, I felt a sneeze coming on. It was the sneeze to end all sneezes. It was the kind of sneeze that a really showy actor will do when he's trying to disgust bystanders in one of those practical joke TV shows. Which is what the only other sole person in the dairy section must have thought was going on when he heard me sneeze. There he was with his greasy hair and black rimmed glasses softly humming "Singing in the Rain" to himself when KABLOOEY. He looked up startled and then saw me and had a perfect "WTF" look on his face, as in "that sneeze came from her?" And SkooterPie started cracking up. And I gave meek "excuse me" and shuffled away.

And then I started laughing because I had embarrassed myself. Embarrassed myself in front of a greasy-haired dude no less. And I continued to laugh (practically so hard I was crying) all the way through the grocery store. And thank God we were at the Midtown Schneesel's because this sort of thing is not out of the ordinary at all.

With the hysterics finally subsiding, we went to pick up the boys. Jesse had no fewer than five sticks of beef jerky with him, a pocket full of ping pong balls, a fruit roll up and a bottle of green tea. It had obviously been a good night for the Lindenwood concession stand.

The next morning, Jesse was watching TV with me when he suddenly jumped up and asked "Where are my skates?" I told him they were in his room and he took off. He came back and few minutes later with a confession. His lip bumper had popped out last night, and he couldn't get it back in, so he'd put it in his skates. But now he couldn't find it. I felt around in his skates and couldn't find it either. So I went to look in the floor of my car. Not there. I walked back inside and questioned him some more and learned that the device had come out pretty early in the night, before he had actually roller skated, in fact. "You didn't feel it in your shoe while you were skating?" He shook his head at me. So, it's gone. I can't believe it didn't get lost before now. I'll have to call his orthodontist Monday to report it missing. That little piece of metal is going to cost me $65 to replace. Grrrrr.